sábado, março 21, 2015

Some cats will always be wild


Once there was this lonely girl, with very little friends she would often neglect. She had very few expectations in emotions and people, and felt her life was starting to become mediocre. She missed the long walks in the fields and forests from her old town. The wide sparkling space above her during the nights.
One day, the girl walked pass a fenced empty lot, and noticed a big cat, with black and white fur, long tail and round brown eyes. She stood there for a couple of minutes, as the cat noticed her presence and ran away. The brief stare of the cat however made her sympathetic - maybe a little intrigued.
She dreamed about the forest that night.
Next day she passed trough the same fence, and hoped the cat would still be there. She would call it many times, but it wouldn’t show up. But she didn’t give up. The empty lot path became a routine, and every day she would just stand there for minutes, hoping to see the creature again. She even kept a small package of cat food from her neighbour inside her bag. Many weeks passed, and one day, the cat reapered among the weed and grass. She stood still and tried to remain calm as her heart started to rush. This time, the cat didn’t run away. It remained still from the other side of the fence, staring at her with those big brown eyes. What could it be thinking about her? After a little while, she felt encouraged to make a move, and maybe offer the cat some food, but as soon as she moved to open up her bag, it ran away again.
Everyday she would pour the animal food and fresh water in front of the fence, as some sort of ritualistic offering. Knowing it would eventually serve itself on it, was enough for her. Time passed, and little too late she realized she became obsessed by the animal. She would day dream about the most simple things, to keep her hope alive. Untill the memories of it’s fur and deep brown eyes started to fade, giving place to a fierce idealization of a magestic wild creature she would secretly adore.
Another couple of months had passed and the girl had no more strengh in her heart to go back to that empty lot to find herself alone again. She created the habit of wondering around the streets of the neighborhood before going back home from school, like she used to do in the woods, always avoiding that street. Avoidance became a habit itself. Sudenly, a glance to the right and she realized that the very cat was walking across the street. She freezed and thought to herself ‘this is my chance’. She slowly bended on her knees, and started to call it with long ‘ppssssssst’ as the cat finally responded to her attemp with a couple of shy meows. She stood there for another minute, controling her breath as she called it, untill it reached her legs, and curled its tail around her. Nothing could discribe the joy filling her mind at that precious moment, gently stroking the dusty long fur of the animal she thought she loved… But the girl couldn’t accept the fact it was nothing more than that: a moment. She became desperate, and before the cat had the chance to run away again, she grabed it by its long tail, and held onto its neck. She had to have it… Those feeling had to mean something, they were suposed to be friends. The cat started to struggle violently, carving her arms and shoulders with deep scratches, untill it reached her left eye and finally was able to scape.
The poor girl went home devastated. That night, she dreamed she killed a snake and buried it in a field, inside a jar.
Years had passed, and she eventually adopted a couple of kitties. They were frieskie and kind, and eventough she loved them, she knew what they actually ment. She had already graduated high school and was working on a part time job at a nearby store. She isolated herself from people almost completely, and her long wondering hours around the neighborhood were replaced by jogging late evenings. One night, it started to rain, and she was forced to go back home earlier. She took a short cut through that one street and realized a big house was built where the fenced empty lot used to be. There were three gard dogs in the front. And for a moment she stood there, under the rain, untill a big black and white cat walked by the white iron fence, and in the minute it saw her, it ran back in.
Was that…?
She couldn’t control herself, and rang the doorbell. A middle age woman with dyed blond hair and a flower stamped dress opened the door. Swolowing an instinctive feeling of disgust and repulsion, she asked the lady if she owned the furry black and white cat, with long tail and big brown eyes that ran inside her house. She was afraid the dogs would try to kill it. The woman smiled and said it was hers indeed. It lived around the block when they were building the house, and she started to feed it regularly, untill it finally settle down with her and her dogs, eventhough it was an old cat. The only problem was that, no fence nor wall was high enough to hold it from running back on the streets for its long walks, even on rainy days like that.
The girl thanked her, and as the woman shut the door, she simply stood still in front of the house, emotionless and tired, caressing the old scars on her arms as a sign of compassion to herself. There was nothing else to do anymore. Some cats will always be wild, and so will some people.

3 comentários:

Anônimo disse...

Hello. And Bye.

Anônimo disse...

Esperando seu retorno as postagens, dia após dia...

Martini disse...

:) don't worry... eu vou voltar este ano. São Paulo tem sido muito pra mim... and all that i've been living kinda dies on the spot, since i don't have the energy to tell people about my life.